“Why does it take so long?”
If I had a dime for every time I’ve been asked that question in regards to our adoption in China, we would’ve been able to pay cash for our trip there. “Why did it take three years for the adoption to be completed?”, I’m often asked. Honey, there is not enough space on this blog for me to answer that one. Besides, there are entire websites devoted to answering that question. Google it. If God had not moved on our hearts to go into the special needs program, we would still be waiting another 3-4 years. At that point, we’d begin to make Abraham and Sarah look like adolescents.
The other “why does it take so long?” question was in regards to the length of our stay in China. Our trip was longer than most but we were dodging an international trade fair in one city and we had to hang out for Mid-Autumn Festival in another. The trip in total was 19 days. I call it 20 b/c we arrived back in Orlando a half hour before midnight of the 20th day. Each city we were in had a purpose. Beijing was for us to gather as a group, get our sea legs, adjust to the time zone, the food, the culture and then move onto the next province, the one in which our child was from. In the province of their birth or their orphanage, we would meet our child and adopt our child. That province would generate a passport for them, needed not only to leave the province, but to leave the country.
The next location for every family who adopts from China is Guangzhou. You’ll hear lots about that in a few days. I always say, in Chinese adoption, all roads lead to Guangzhou. It is the location of the US Consulate. The stay in Guangzhou is to do all of the necessary steps and PAPERWORK to generate the child’s visa, which enables he/she to leave their country of birth and land in the country of their life as an official citizen. You are in Guangzhou for at least 4-7 days. So if you are following this Brady journey of epic proportions, we are only halfway through the journey. Tired yet? Believe me, I know.
On Day 10, our time in Zhengzhou was coming to a close. I will say again, these last three days there run together a bit for me. I need to consult my travel partners in my family and my travel group family to help re-fresh my memory, but I just don’t have the time as of yet. I will, soon. Days 9 & 10 may be transposed here, but you don’t really care, do you? I didn’t think so. For all intents and purposes we will assign Day 10, the day we went to the Henan Provincial Museum. We had to get out of the hotel. There is not a whole lot to do in Zhengzhou and you don’t have a whole lot of energy at this point to do much anyway. I had heard or read about the museum and thought, “What the heck. We have nothing to lose. At least we’ll get out of the hotel. (Can’t really say for fresh air, but out nonetheless.) And it would be good to learn more about her province. Besides, I love learning about China.”
We hailed a cab or should I say a Yugo, to go to the museum. Chinese cabs are crazy small. John was in the front and my 6 foot son and my almost 6 foot son were in the back with their Mom and sister. Hope sat on my lap, no car seat. We ain’t in Kansas anymore.
They cab driver spoke no English and you know we weren’t speaking Chinese, but John gave it all he had when it came to communication. Even though I had to remind him a few times that the guy didn’t know English, he tried anyway. We arrived at the museum and we thought the driver went to pay for parking, but he came back with tickets to the museum for our family and himself. “Oh. Okay, so he goes with us. Hmmm. Awkward, but, when in Rome…do as the Romans do.” We could tell he’d been here before, so I kind of felt like we had a guide too. We were quite impressed with the museum. It was very clean and extremely well kept. The exhibits were pretty spectacular. We learned a lot about the province of Hope’s birth and her people. The looks from other patrons were quite interesting. We were the only “white” people in the museum AND we were carrying a Chinese child. For some people, this may have been a first to see with their own eyes. And I love that the questions inevitably begin swirling in their minds.
“Why would they come this far to adopt a daughter?”
“Why would they want an orphaned child?”
“Why would they want a “broken” baby?” (Special needs children are considered “broken” in China.)
“They have two sons. Isn’t that enough?”
“How can they love a child who doesn’t look like them?”
I love the thought of God using these questions to begin to stir their hearts and begin to cause them to wonder that such a love exists that it would go to the ends of the Earth to find and redeem a lost child. Just think of the implications of that in their lives! I know the Holy Spirit is all over it.
At the end of our tour, we headed, like good Orlando people, to the gift shop. It’s what we’ve been trained to do, ya’ll. I wanted to see if there was a book on her province we could purchase. Instead I found several children’s books for her, all in Mandarin, of ‘course, but I wanted her to have some. There was even a book of Disney Princess stories in Mandarin. Yes, I’m serious. Yes, I bought it.
What made the tour most interesting was the young man we met in the bookstore. The clerk simply glared at us. Not sure what her problem was with us (there could be many things), but this young guy, saw us and got so excited. He was almost giddy.
He came up to us and said, “Los Angeles?”
“Uh….Los Angeles? You mean, do we live in Los Angeles?”
“Yes. Los Angeles. Kobe Bryant.”, he replied.
“Oh. No, we live in Orlando.”, I said.
“Dwight Howard. Orlando, Dwight Howard. You live there. You know him?”, he inquired.
We chuckled. “Well, no. We live near his house, but we don’t know him. Orlando, yes.”, we continued.
From there, he and my oldest son, Austin struck up some kind of NBA conversation and this young man, who I thought was the bravest kid in the world, got to practice his English, which is a high privilege in China. I’ve been told that Chinese look for opportunities to practice their English on Westerners. He asked tons of questions and walked with us all the way out to the cab. Our driver was a little annoyed by him, but my Austin, treated this young man with such dignity. Austin felt as privileged as this young man did to be having such a dialogue. There is something beautiful that happens when you go abroad. When you talk with another human being with whom the only thing you have in common is your Creator, your world becomes so small and yet so big all in one moment. You realize that countries and continents are made up of real, live human beings with dreams, hopes and personality just like you. You also realize that the world is much bigger than you are, a thought that would be good for all of us to remember from time to time.
The young man exchanged an email I believe and asked us if we wanted to come and visit him while here. He promised that his mother would be so happy to meet us and would prepare for us a great meal. As a Southern-bred woman, this reaches into my heart and tugs it till it hurts. What hospitality, what selflessness, what desire to interact with someone from another land. Someone who could enlighten him, someone who could encourage him, someone who could inspire him. We weren’t the only family I know of who have been invited to dinner by a Chinese man or woman they met on the adoption journey. These are the people I love. God has placed the Chinese on my heart and though we differ in ways and beliefs, there is a humility the common Chinese possess that moves me to have compassion upon them and long to be there again someday. As we got inside the cab, he gave Austin a huge hug, and me and pinched Hope’s cheeks and spoke something to her in Mandarin. The Chinese are not physically affectionate people. I don’t think we can fathom what this God-ordained meeting meant to this man. And it was moving for us as well. Please join me in praying that God will shine His Light into this man’s heart and into his darkness and save his soul. I love the thought of seeing him again one day, not at the supper of his mother, but at the wedding supper of our Heavenly Father.
When we got back to the hotel, we got out of the cab and John paid the driver. John simply asked how much, thought it was a reasonable price and paid him. The bellman at the hotel was outraged. He began talking to our driver in Mandarin and they exchanged some very heated words. Best we can figure, and after talking with other families who went to the museum as well, he grossly overcharged us. But the amount he quoted we felt, was still reasonable, maybe because we look at it from a perspective of what’s reasonable here in the States. Either way, we really felt that if he swindled us, it didn’t matter. He had a family to feed on an income that was less than our cable bill, so we just hoped the extra would bless his family somehow. It’s between him and His maker if he was dishonest.
We topped off our day in Zhengzhou, our last full day there, with a travel group family dinner. Several of us decided to go to a restaurant that was “supposedly” good. I’m laughing as I type this because the memories of that dinner still make me laugh every time I think of it. It was a quintessential Chinese moment. We all come into the restaurant. They looked confused as to what to do because we Americans, well, we move tables to accommodate ourselves, you know? And, uh, apparently they don’t do that in China. So when we start moving tables or trying to, the staff are quite confused, looking around as if to say, “Can we do that?”. We Americans say, “Of course you can! Here…do it like this!” After working out that one without translation, except for the Holle’s 10 year old Greg, we sat down to order. This is where the fun really began. American restaurants are use to large groups and multiple orders and checks. I think this was a first for the Cow and Bridge Restaurant (not to be confused with the Cow and Bridge in Guangzhou…a joke for Group 1639). Our meal ended up with some people getting food, some didn’t, ever….the whole meal. I mean, they ordered, got nothing and had sat at the table the whole time with no dinner. When they tried to explain it to the server, she was more confused than ever. When in China, just go with it, there is really no other option. The “steak” was believed, by travel Dad Kevin who served in the military overseas, to in fact be goat rather than beef, which would explain a lot in the texture and smell of the meat. This is where things got hilarious. Some ate it and said goat isn’t all that bad after all. Others were totally grossed out. Thankfully what I ordered wasn’t goat and Hope and I ate what we could stomach. We all left the restaurant laughing the whole way back to the hotel.
Tomorrow morning we would leave for Guangdong Province and the city of Guangzhou, specifically The White Swan Hotel on Shamian Island. This would prove to be an oasis of sorts as not only did it cater to Western ways even more but it had a Starbucks on the island.
Come. To. Momma!!!!!!!!!!

Getting ready for our day at the museum. Hope hasn't quite perfected the relationship with the camera here or the concept of "Cheese!!!!" We'll work on that in months to come.

Enormous statues in the atrium of the museum.

John and our driver. You'd be amazed how much you can communicate with someone who speaks another language. It's a beautiful thing.

Looking at artifacts from the Henan province.

Our family in the museum. Photo taken by our driver.

Our precious Kobe Bryant friend working out the translation with Austin.

An unforgettable dining experience.